Should I Be Worried?

When I woke my daughter up this morning, she half-asleep said:

"Aw, Daddy! I was having a good dream!"

I kinda felt bad that I woke her up, but I had to know what this dream was about. So I asked her,

"Honey, what was the dream about?"

Normally, Cyan gives me some weird story about being chased by giant bowling balls, swimming with Spongebob Squarepants, or being 'Princess Cyan'. This morning, however, I was rocked. She said:

"I had a dream that my Mommy died, you weren't around anymore and I got a new Mommy."

I didn't know how to respond to this. I was rocked. Finally, I said,

"Cyan, Honey. That was NOT a good dream. That was a bad dream."

To this, she replies:

"No, Daddy! My new Mommy was really nice to me. I liked her."

Where did this come from?? I lectured her about how her mother and her father both love her very much. Even though Mommy and Daddy don't live together anymore, we still will always be there for her and take care of her.

She was still adamant about being very happy with her dream and she has no idea why Daddy would be upset about it.

I dropped Cyan off at her mother's house so she could take her to school. Before I left, I told her mother about the dream and she had the same reaction as I did. Pure shock. Later in the day, she tells me that Cyan opened up to ther and told her that she often dreams about having other parents.

So what could this mean? My first thought was that she was relating to the movie 'Coraline'. In that movie, The girl visits an alternate reality where she has an "other mother" and "other father". Cyan happens to be a huge fan of this movie and maybe she could relate to how Coraline's parents are preoccupied with their own lives and pay little attention to her.

Am I neglecting Cyan? I don't believe I do. I may not be hanging over her every second, but I do care for her. I admit, I don't talk to her enough, though. I play with her but I don't sit her down and say "how are you today?" maybe I need to do that more. Maybe I should take a few minutes each day and have a sit-down. Mind you, I hated when my mom tried to do this with me when I was a kid. I was off in my own world and didn't like to share anything with anyone. I just figured letting Cyan do her own thing and be self-reliant would be a good thing. I now see that that is wrong.

Funny. Typing this all out just gave me an idea. It's a way for me to reach out to Cyan and create something at the same time: I will keep a record of Cyan's dreams. Every morning while we are getting ready for school and work, I will talk to her and ask her what she dreamt last night. I'll write it down in a little journal. Then, I will ask her how she is feeling. I'll ask her what she plans to learn at school that day. We'll have some Father-Daughter time. Then one of these days, I'll look through her dreams and write a book about them. I should have thought of this years ago.

I'll never say that I'm father of the year, but I think I'm a good dad. Maybe I'm a little too into my own world sometimes, but I never feel like I neglect my daughter. I guess sometimes I need a 'kick in the pants' to put me back on track.